Friday, July 27, 2012

Worst Girlfriend Ever

How my boyfriend can continue to date me remains a mystery. Day after day, I nag him, pinch his nipples and take up approximately 8/10ths of the bed while sleeping.

Despite these things, he generally puts up with my shenanigans. But one night I crossed the line, and went from moderately annoying to worst girlfriend ever territory.

The evening started out innocently enough, with the usual bedtime routine.

But just when we were on the verge of drifting off to sleep, the unthinkable happens.

Amazingly, my strategy works! He doesn't notice, and all is well. I resume daydreaming about starfish.

But then, my impulsive side takes over....

... and all Hell breaks loose.

It's probably worth mentioning that he's not even allowed to fart in the same room as me. Because that would be gross.

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