In the spirit of the Olympics, I thought I would take a moment to reflect on how I feel about the games. Most years it's the same over and over: swimming, gymnastics, swimming, gymnastics, swimming, gymnastics, swimming, gymnastics, swimming, gymnastics, synchronized diving, gymnastics.
I tend to get a bit bored.
What the summer series needs is a new event to help spice things up. A new sport that can keep people engaged and more energized. One that is sure to stimulate the crowd and appeal to the masses. A true sport, not like some of the events included such as race walking and women's wrestling.
So for the 2016 games, I'm thinking we should add war as an event category. Now before you get all uppity, I'll have you know that this is the oldest sport there is, having been practiced since the dawn of man.
And, the idea of adding Lazer Tag to the Olympics is already being thrown around, so I don't see why war would be such a stretch. After all, they're practically the same thing. They even have the same gear.
Ok, so there is one teeny-tiny difference in that if you get shot in Lazer Tag the only thing that will happen is your lazer pack will buzz. If you get shot in war you might die, but we really shouldn't get caught up in such minute details.
Besides, we're so good at it, we'd be sure to take home the gold. But even more importantly, I've already taken the liberty of designing the Team USA fan club t-shirt, and Walmart has agreed to license it.